2ndgradeteacher's Blog

As Old as a Fossil…

2ndgradeteacher — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 01:10:38 +0000

I really do think that young children have absolutely NO concept of time. Here’s a wonderful example:

Student: Miss Red! Do you know what I found while I was waiting for my tennis lesson yesterday?? A FOSSIL!! I knew it was from millions and millions of years ago…. probably around the time you were born.

WOW. I didn’t just turn 28… NO! I turned 28 million. Good to know.

Where is your BRAIN!?

2ndgradeteacher — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 03:01:10 +0000

When my day starts with a parent waiting at my door… I get a little nervous. But THIS morning it was so worth it…

Parent: So yesterday, my little 2nd grader was having a ding bat moment and I just asked… WHERE IS YOUR BRAIN?! And do you know what she told me??? she told me… OH. Miss Red has it.

HAHAHA!!!!! I LOVE it… My new job title: Keeper of Brains.

Why I HATE Glue

2ndgradeteacher — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 00:01:10 +0000

I have these WONDERFUL chair pockets in my classroom. They hold tons of useful items… folders, notebooks, library books, book bags and so on and so forth. Well let me tell you what my fabulous coworker found this afternoon:

Fabulous coworker: Ohhh… I wanna look through a science journal…. (She begins digging around in a chair pocket and a few seconds pass by)

Fabulous coworker: Uhhhhh…. Miss Red??? You might want to take a look at this….

YES… you guessed it!! My student was OBVIOUSLY rushing this afternoon and did NOT let their science journal dry after a lab was glued in. SO…. it is now attached to their chair pocket. I HATE GLUE.

Sometimes I Need a Little Reminder

2ndgradeteacher — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 04:04:51 +0000

I have a feeling lots of teachers “forget” the small things. I found this list my very first year and it always lifts my heart and reminds me of what’s REALLY important…

I read Charlotte’s Web and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory every year, and every year when Charlie finds the golden ticket and Charlotte dies, I cry.

I take slivers out of fingers and bad sports out of steal the bacon. I know when a child has gum in his mouth even when he is not chewing. I have sung “Happy Birthday” 657 times.

I hand over scissors with the handles up. My copies of The Velveteen Rabbit and Treasure Island are falling apart. I can listen to one child talk about his birthday party and another talk about her sleepover and another talk about getting his stomach pumped last night–all at the same time.

I fix staplers that won’t staple and zippers that won’t zip, and I poke pins in the orange caps of glue bottles that will not pour. I hand out papers and pencils and stickers and envelopes for newly pulled teeth. I know the difference between Austria and Australia.

I plan lessons while shaving, showering, driving, eating, and sleeping. I plan lessons five minutes before the bell rings. I know what time it is when the big hand is on the twelve and the little hand is on the nine. I say the r in library. I do not say the w in sword.

I put on Band-Aids and winter coats and school plays. I know they will not understand the difference between your and you’re. I know they will write to when it should be too. I say “Cover your mouth,” after they have coughed on me.

I am a teacher.

I examine new braces and new blisters and holes in mouths where teeth have just fallen out. I can spell vacuum. I know the magic word.

I wear four-leaf clovers and dandelions in my shirt pocket that have just been picked with love at recess. I pray for snow days. I pray for Stephen to be absent.

I spend Thanksgiving vacation writing report cards, Christmas vacation cleaning my classroom, and summer vacation taking classes on how to relax. I know the difference between a comma and an apostrophe. I can say “apostrophe.”

I buy books about cats and dogs and sharks and volcanoes and horses and dinosaurs. I turn jump ropes and am base in tag. I am glad you can only get chicken pox once.

I correct pencil grips and spelling mistakes and bad manners. I push in chairs all the way, push swings higher, and push sleeves up while children are painting. I can touch the paper cutter.

I own one suit, two pairs of shoes, and eight boxes of graham crackers. I have every teacher mug that Hallmark ever made and every Save the Children tie too. I say, “Use two hands!” when they carry their lunch trays. I say, “Accidents happen,” after they did not use two hands.

I wear green on Saint Patrick’s Day, red on Valentine’s Day, and my bathrobe on Pajama Day. I poke straws into juice boxes and untwist thermos lids that are too tight. I unpeel oranges that are too tight too.

I sign library passes and yearbooks and new casts. I attend soccer games and Little League championships and funerals for guinea pigs. I answer to both “Mom” and “Dad.”

I am a teacher.

I hope April Fool’s Day is on a Saturday. I blow up balloons that will not blow up. I always blow the whistle too early at recess.

I can borrow and carry very fast. I give them more time to answer six times eight than two times three. I never end a sentence with a preposition. I know what a preposition is.

I draw stars and smiley faces. I say, “Take over,” in four square games when I was not looking. Once I forgot eight plus seven.

I know when to say “can” and when to say “may.” I have worn green marker, red paint, yellow chalk dust, glue stick, and glitter all on the same day. I hate glitter.

I always begin a sentence with a capital and end it with a period. I always walk in line. I always lose at arm wrestling.

I leave “shuger” and “vilets” misspelled on their valentines. I know all my continents and all my oceans. I tape pages back into books. I can find the end of the new roll of Scotch tape. I call on children whose hands are not raised.

I know that colonel is a really hard word to read, and so is doubt and so is gauge. I know that kids will read started, when it says stared. I have spelled out because and beautiful and friend six million times.

I am a teacher.

I look both ways before crossing the street. I save balls stuck in basketball hoops. I have given 842 spelling tests and have written “Have a Good Summer!” that many times too.

I collect milk boxes and coffee cans and egg cartons. I know all my times tables. I can type without looking. I know that two pretzels do not equal one Hershey kiss.

I can make a telescope out of a toilet paper roll and a totem pole out of oatmeal boxes. I can make snowflakes out of coffee filters and a space shuttle out of a Pringles can too.

I know my notes because “Every Good Boy Does Fine.” I know my directions because I “Never Eat Slimy Worms.” I know all my planets because “My Very Elegant Mother Just Sat Upon Nine Pickles.” And I can only say my ABCs if I sing them.

I fix watchbands, repair eyeglasses, and search for lost milk money after freeze tag. I know when their fists will make a rock and when they will make scissors.

I know when a child does not understand. I know when a child is not telling the truth. I know when a child was up too late last night. I know when a child needs help finding a friend.

I am a teacher

I will CUT you!!

2ndgradeteacher — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 02:15:21 +0000

2 Things you need to know before you read this entry:

1. I LOVE me some youtube.com. When I found the video of Bon Qui Qui working at King Burger… I about PEED myself.

2. Alright… I get it… I can be vulgar and rude sometimes…. but NEVER around my students! I seriously have this filter around children. (HOW?? I don’t know) So… I PROMISE I did not tell my students about Bon Qui Qui.

Now… on with the story. I introduce our weekly spelling list. Then I assign a short vowel review worksheet. I am walking around listening to all the glorious conversation…. and then I hear this:

Student: (to himself) Hmmmm…. cut. c-u-t. HA… I will CUT you!

I had to RUN out of my classroom because I could not hold my laughter in!!! I LOVE that my students and I watch the same youtube videos…. and I LOVE that they can make connections with Bon Qui Qui.

My BRAIN!

2ndgradeteacher — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 03:07:05 +0000

Sometimes my students really do say the most HILARIOUS things… without even knowing it.

Student: MISS MISS!!!

Me: (I am guessing he DOESN’T know my name…) Yes?

S: I need help with this… (shoving a math worksheet in my face)

M: ok ok… let’s sit down… now what does this say?

S: ugh… ohhhh…. blahhhhhhhhhhhhhh….

M: uh…. friend?? are you ok?

S: yeah miss… it’s just… it’s just… MY BRAIN… it’s off! My brain is cloudy and off…

M: (OMG!!!!) well… let’s take a break then… because only you can turn your brain on.

*Lesson: AT LEAST they can tell me that their brain is off… instead of just staring at my face hoping the answer will appear on my forehead.

The GREATEST gift

2ndgradeteacher — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 01:26:59 +0000

So… I have successfully made it through the first 2 weeks of the 2010-2011 school year. (only because I had a few adult “beverages” each night after work) But today… I received the GREATEST gift ever…

Now you see this gift and you think… REALLY?? The GREATEST gift?!?! So… I will explain.

On Thursday afternoon, I could NOT find my staple remover!!! I looked high. I looked low. I became a drama queen and howled about how my heart was broken and cried about how I spent a DOLLAR on the staple remover and begged my students to keep their eyes out for this VERY important lost item.

The next morning, I’m rushing around to get ready for my day… filing papers, passing out supplies, planning for next week and such. SO… I hardly notice anything going on around me. THEN… I feel a poke in my side.

SWEET Student: Miss Red??? (while poking me)

Me: Yes, my friend?

SS: I have something for you.

Me: Really? Well can you turn it in with your homework folder? (thinking it was a note or a picture)

SS: No. I have to put it in your hand.

Me: Alright then. (As I put my hand out)

SS: Close your eyes…

(So… I closed my eyes)

OMG! I opened my eyes and saw this staple remover in my hand! He said he found one at his house and didn’t want me to cry or have a broken heart. So he brought it to me.

*I learned two things from this experience: 1. I need to stop telling 7 year olds that my heart is broken. 2 .My students not only LISTEN to what I say… but they LIKE me!! (Well… at least so far)

End of the school year- 2010 edition

2ndgradeteacher — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 02:58:32 +0000

So… at the end of every school year I think… What have I learned? Well, this year I learned several things. Here’s my top ten list:

1. No matter what grade you teach… if you’re not on a great team then teaching isn’t very fun. (Trust me… I have a GREAT team!)

2. Every once in a while you get to see a students “lightbulb” turn on. It’s quite exciting.

3. The swine flu is NOT VERY FUN.

4. IKEA, Wal-Mart and The Dollar Tree are my favorite places on EARTH.

5. At the end of the year… when you decide to read Oh, The Places You’ll Go… put the tissue box in your lap.

6. Every teacher should have a class pet.

7. Work Stations are the most amazing invention ever!

8. When you are having a bad day, your students know it AND they will do all they can to cheer you up.

9. If you have a question and you know most adults won’t answer it truthfully… ask a kid. They ALWAYS tell the truth.

10. Sometimes… at the end of the day… a nice “adult” beverage fixes anything.

Thursday, June 3rd was my last day with my students. Friday, June 4th… I had my FIRST “first day of school” nightmare. That is just NOT normal.

Happy Summer my friends!

Maybe I will cancel my trip to Disney

2ndgradeteacher — Mon, 31 May 2010 22:49:44 +0000

Here is your background info: My class did a science experiment in October. We made a fake oil spill in a cooking pan and dipped bird feathers in it. We came to the conclusion that Dawn dishsoap cleans feathers better than anything else we tried. ( we also tried dry paper towels, wet paper towels, lemon juice, vinegar and baby wipes) WELL… many months later a REAL oil spill happened in Louisiana.

Last Wednesday, I ALMOST broke into heaving sobs. This is why:

Student: You know Miss Red… Last October you taught me how to clean bird feathers that were covered in spilled oil. I saw on the news last night that the pelicans in Louisiana might need some help. I think I’ll tell my mom to cancel our trip to Disney. Instead we can just go and clean the pelicans. I will have to get some Dawn soap though.

WHY ARE CHILDREN SO PRECIOUS!?!?!?!

I’ve been ROBBED!!!

2ndgradeteacher — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 01:26:02 +0000

SO! I was robbed… and it was totally UNACCEPTABLE! Since I was so devastated, I had to share this with my class. Here’s how the conversation went down. I want you to pay attention to what they were most concerned about…

Me: So… I was the saddest teacher in america last night. Some RUDE person BROKE my door and stole all my things!

Students: (with gasps) Miss RED!!! What did they TAKE?

Me: Well… the most important thing was my computer… it had all my photos and work saved on it.

Students: What else?

Me: Well… my jewelry and my wii.

Students(interrupting with screams and yells): WHAT!?! THE WII!!!???? NO…. miss RED!!! NOT the WII!!!!

(I think someone actually got tears in their eyes.)

Me: But…my laptop is gone and my graduation ring from my mom…

Students: NO… Miss RED NO ONE SHOULD STEAL A WII!!!!!!!

Then about 2 weeks later, I asked my students to write a journal entry. Here is my favorite response:

“If I found a leprechaun I would ask him for all his gold. He would give it to me without questions because I will tell him it is all for my teacher. My teacher needs some gold coins to buy a new wii. She also needs a computer so she can e-mail my mom about my behavior and download pictures of me. So, on March 17th… I hope I find a leprechaun.”

My students really are precious.